Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Wallowing in Self-Pity

With today’s seemingly impossible standards, it is impossible to live life worry-free. With the increasingly demanding social norms of the consumerist society, people are often put on the spot. They need to excel in practically everything they do, and if they try to catch their breath even for just a moment, they get left behind. You have people telling you that you’re not pretty enough, smart enough, or rich enough. Though you may not have everything you want in life, you should feel that you do have enough. After all, if we did get everything that we wanted, what else is there to work for?

As you drive around the city, you see billboards depicting pictures of people with perfect lives. Then, you look in the mirror and find an infinite number of flaws. You always want what you don’t have, and if you let society’s standards affect the way you see yourself, you will never be happy. You need to get out of this rut that you are in and avoid self-pity. You should see things for what they truly are because these are stepping stones to self-empowerment.

The first step to empowering yourself is to concentrate on your strengths. You should see yourself as someone who is good enough to thrive in today’s society. This is not to say that you should simply ignore your flaws. You also need to know which areas you need to develop, but instead of sulking and complaining, think about what you can achieve when you work on improving yourself. Ignore the voices that tell you that you can never amount to much. Never be at the mercy of someone else’s standards because what you think should matter most.

Then, you should reframe the way you view yourself. Sometimes, you let your physical flaws dictate your confidence. If you get criticisms from people, let these drive you to do something. You’ll be surprised at the things you can achieve if you just set your mind to it. If people criticize your weight a lot, then get into a healthy lifestyle and further your strengths while you make yourself look and feel better. The thing is, you should never let society put too much pressure on you. You should do the things that you want when you feel that it’s the right time. When you shape your life according to the norm, you may not even be ready for the changes. Just go through the experiences and accept what you have at the moment. When you feel that it’s time to take things to another level, then do so because this is a sign that you are ready. You should weigh the pros and the cons of every decision you make. Things have a way of coming back, and if you get into something too early, you may not be ready to face the repercussions.

Once you’ve adjusted your expectations according to you needs and not to the needs of others, you can strike a balance between your lifestyle wants and goals. You have to fine-tune your perspective and believe in your ability to improve the quality of your life. While this may be a difficult feat, the chances of you fulfilling your goals are better. It’s all about your frame of mind! You are not a failure unless you think you are.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Finding Your Perfect Job

Win the Job that You Want

As soon as we finish school, we enter into the real world and become part of the so-called working class. A job search can be a stressful process, especially if the choices you’re presented with aren’t the ones you necessarily want. The competition is fierce and you need to formulate the right strategy to get the job that you desire.

During the search process, you first need to know where your strengths and interests lie. You need a clear picture of your desire in mind and the kind of work you want to immerse yourself in. It is very crucial that you determine your true calling so that when the offers start pouring in, it is easier to taper down your choices and zoom in on where you will be most happy.

Once you’ve indicated your wants and needs, you need to just research on the companies that are looking for people with your skills. Then, you need to hone in on your strengths and find ways in which you can become a suitable candidate. There may be seminars and extra classes available to help you improve your skills. You have to think about the fact that the people hiring the professionals get to see as much as a hundred applicants on a daily basis. Why should they want you above everyone else? Work on yourself and make the necessary preparations. If this takes too much of your time, then so be it. Job offers for the individuals equipped with the right skills will always come, and head hunters will be able to track you from even miles away. The necessary training may take time, but rest assured, the rewards will be worth the wait.

Once the doors of opportunity have been opened for you, it is important that you express your interest and enthusiasm. Employers like to know that you are committed to the job and that they can trust you with crucial responsibilities. Let them know that you will work to the best of your ability and ask them if they are looking for particular qualifications. This displays your zest to commit yourself to developing your abilities.

It is also important that you know your strengths and weaknesses. It is typical for the interviewer to ask you what they are, so it is necessary that you be honest. Highlight the skills that are crucial for the part and try to be more specific about naming your good qualities. Hard-working and well-rounded are good, but you need more than these generic words to make an impact. Talk about your skills with the computer or your ability to adjust to different cultures. Whatever it may be, let it be memorable because that is what matters most. When naming your weaknesses, be specific as well, but make sure that these are traits that you are currently working on. No one expects you to be perfect, but it would be nice for them to know that you are doing your best to improve and grow.

Landing the perfect job requires a lot of hard work and a little bit of luck. If you really are serious about your future, try to seek out every opportunity to create a network of people that may help you in your search. With determination, you are sure to win that coveted position!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Optimizing Your Use of Visualization

How To Visualize

For visualization to be most effective, you have to start imagining where you are at this point in your life. This should be a fun and relaxing exercise. In fact, this is one way to relax your mind and inspire yourself. The exercise should only evoke feelings of happiness and peace.

So what you really need to do is relax so that you enable yourself to connect with your spirit. It's simply a matter of monitoring your thoughts because both your mind and spirit knows no boundaries. Free yourself from mental chatter and concerns. You simply have to imagine the ultimate outcome of the entire journey. Then you must feel what it's like to be in that winning moment. Assume ownership of that goal and make it yours. Keep doing this until you achieve those dreams.

When it comes to doing the exercises, find a quiet and serene spot. Natural settings make the best place to engage in creative visualization. Breathe deeply so that you can sink deeper into a sea of peace. What is said to help a lot is when you imagine that you're descending a staircase, with each step down taking you to a deeper level of relaxation. You'll sometimes find yourself with a myriad of random thoughts entering your consciousness. Strive hard to clear your head and imagine an empty space. When your thoughts are cleared from clutter, your vibration rises automatically. Now, allow yourself to think about your goal. Make it as exciting as possible, with you as the star of your very own movie. Put yourself in a place where you are being congratulated by many people.

Follow these few simple rules:
  • Visualize what you want and include only the positive.
  • Visualize living your dreams in the now.
  • Use the emotions in you and use all as many senses so that your subconscious believes it is real.
  • Make it a habit because the more you visualize, the more you will look forward to it.

The real power to change our lives comes through visualization. Sometimes, this can be a little challenging. Your mind can wander off and think about your other matters. When this happens, you veer away from what you are supposed to do. To help you through the process, you can use pictures to help you visualize. Find pictures that get you hyped up and choose the ones that represent your aspirations. Put yourself in the picture because they are more powerful when you are in it. Make sure you keep a balance of your goals so that you don’t omit other important areas.

It is also important to make affirmations and repeat them to yourself daily. Because you repeat these affirmations often, they almost become a mantra that can be used to calm your mind. Most importantly, prepare yourself for success and assume that it is on its way. If you don’t, you will never be ready when your dreams come true. You must have an unwavering faith that everything is going to go your way because that is what convinces the law of attraction to go into overdrive.

Maximize Your Cash

During times like these, it is important for you to invest your money wisely so that when that day comes that you’ll be in dire need of extra cash, you will have something to fall back on. The Boy Scout motto always comes in handy during rainy days, and that is to always be prepared. If you live your life vicariously, free of worries and cares, you may find yourself in trouble one of these days. You must avoid debts at all cost, and if you can master the art of controlling your spending urges, then you can ensure a prosperous future for yourself. The time to act is now, so if you have some dispensable cash with you at the moment, here are some smart tips for you to follow:

1. Pay off your debts. The first thing you should do is pay off all your loans. Bigger loan returns are hard to come by, so if you find yourself paying the extra percent, try to go beyond the minimum and actually see your hard-earned cash go somewhere. Your debts increase with the worsening inflation. If you take your credit loans for granted, you’ll see that you are allotting more of your money to the interest alone.

2. Open a savings account. The first thing you should consider when you open an account with a bank is the company’s stability. While smaller banks give away higher returns, the risk of the bank folding is also higher. Make sure that you trust the people that keep your savings safe. Research on the most reliable banks in your area and compare their portfolio. As you go about your daily routine, you need not worry about losing your money because you know that you have made a smart choice. Always keep in mind the ever-changing economy, and when you do decide to invest on something, make sure that you risk as little as possible.

3. Invest in a managed fund. There is a high risk of losing your tax return in the stock market. Before you purchase anything, make sure that its value will never decrease dramatically. Always start small and keep track of its daily trend. If you feel that you’ve invested in a stable stock, then buy more. Moreover, never put your money in just one place. If one day, the shares lose a lot, at least you know that you also have money elsewhere. Look for a fund that has the biggest chance to grow. If you need the advice of an expert, then get one, but first make sure that your financial planner offers you a reasonable amount for his or her services.

Making sure that you’ve made the right investment takes a lot of research. If you are really serious about your future, you have to do what needs to be done to ensure that you will always remain with your head above the water. Finding yourself with zero cash is a scary thought. You must avoid this at all costs, and the way to do it is to be vigilant about knowing where your dollar goes. The task may be daunting, but all your efforts will definitely pay off in the end. Watch yourself enjoy your hard-earned cash when you keep these tips in mind.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Surviving Your Initial Attempt at Independence

Sometimes, it really takes quite a while to move out of your parent’s house. There’s comfort and security in clinging to a sheltered life for as long as possible. However, there comes a point in your life where you have to brave the unknown and live solo. There are valuable lessons to be learned once you get out on your own. You learn to fend for yourself by worrying about all your responsibilities. You have to think about the bills due while maintaining your new house just to make sure that it is livable.

While the prospect of moving out is both exciting and scary, there is also satisfaction in knowing that work must be done not because you choose to, but because you have to. You are no longer answerable to anybody but yourself. You also have to learn how to adapt to changes because the connections you’ve made in your previous home will also alter. However, while the new environment makes way for nostalgia, it also gives you opportunities to grow and develop as a person.

Fact is, you can become independent without experiencing the drama that usually goes with the scenario. All that is needed are planning and forethought. Before you up and move your stuff, ask yourself if you really are ready to become self-sufficient. Weigh the repercussions of your big decision and plan how you can meet your responsibilities so that you don’t suffer financially.

As you move on to your new place, know how much you need to pay rent. Generally, it should only be 25 to 30 percent of your income. If you plan to get a car, payment should only be 10 to 15 percent of your income. Basically, it means that you still have more than half of your money for yourself and your basic needs. Remember, you also have to think about your daily expenses. If you are quite unsure of what is really required, ask for advice and do the math. You also should know that though there are major sacrifices to be made, you should be able to treat yourself every so often. So, get your finances in order and make the necessary lifestyle tweaks.

More importantly, being independent is also about knowing the rules. Make sure you don’t blow your budget because landowners only look for an ideal tenant. It’s also wise to keep track of how you received your unit. Take pictures if you must so that you have proof to show your landlord if big repairs are needed.

As you welcome a life of freedom, you also have to be more careful about everything. You are responsible for your own safety so consider all security measures immediately. Emotional and psychological maturity is necessary to ensure a successful independent life. You are now facing a lot of decision making challenges almost everyday, right after stepping out of your parent’s house. Understand that you must be emotionally, psychology, and financially independent to do it, otherwise you go back home with your tail between your legs. Just remember that the real education is when you are in the actual situation, and sacrifices have to be made if you are to make it on your own and stay happy.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

The Benefits of Visualization

Your subconscious mind is an exceptionally potent ally. What you tell yourself to be and how you want things to work can be controlled. All you need to do is learn the power of visualization. Basically, your mind is fully capable of working backwards, working from the end to the means. This is basically an act of working towards your goal even without knowing the steps to be taken. If you "program" only the desired outcome successfully within your "mental computer," then your subconscious takes over and helps you find the information and means to carry out the actions necessary to achieve the things that you want. This is perhaps the best mental training technique available to people nowadays.

Many people are now familiarizing themselves with affirmations and goal-setting as ways to attain objectives. They are harnessing all their energy into giving instructions to their subconscious mind. In a way, affirmation and visualization are very much the same. When you speak or think about an affirmation, it triggers a mental image of your goals and dreams.

Visualization enables you to plant goals into your subconscious mind. The process of imagining yourself going through the motions of a complex performance activates brain areas to enhance and further your skills. Brain scans reveal a firm neurological basis. Scientists were able to use the Positron Emission Tomography (PET) scans as basis for their theory. The results revealed that the mental rehearsal of an action activates the prefrontal lobe of the brain. This area was responsible for the formulation of the appropriate motor programs. This basically means that you can benefit when you use mental imagery.

Scientists have been able to establish the mind and body link. There’s also direct evidence in the way emotional stress can contribute to physical illnesses and difficulties. What people don’t realize is that the mind greatly influences the body and the circumstances outside it.

You could even use this technique in the middle of an exercise. When you want to lose all unwanted fat, all you need to do is imagine the burning process taking place. See the unwanted bulges melt away as you remove it from the areas in your body that you want smaller. You don’t need to be a scientist to know this. In fact, research enables you to create a picture on the entire process. For a fully successful workout, imagine the muscles building up and taking its place where the fat once occupied.

Even if you were not as educated with the internal structure and workings of the body, you could still use this method. The important thing to know here is that your body responds to mental imagery. It does not take heed of inaccuracies. What is more important is the process you want to happen. In field of hypnosis, the subconscious mind responds well to metaphor better than literal suggestions. Facts and logic belong to the conscious mind, while emotion and metaphor slips into the subconscious domain. If you frequently visualize what you want and set a schedule for the exercise, the mental images will be accepted by the subconscious. Then, your mind commands the will of the universe. This helps a lot with modifying and improving habits, behavior, and performance.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

How to Deal with a Moody Person

Everybody gets mood swings for a variety of reasons. Some of them may not feel well at the particular moment, or may be experiencing some sort of dilemma that just occupies most of their mind. Some people, on the other hand, are just moody by nature. They have regular ups and downs that seem to be a part of their daily routine. Dealing with this sort of person is never easy, but rather than going with your instincts to just slap them silly, it is best that you follow the following bits of advice:

1. Know their basic temperament. There are two types of grumpy people. The first type is one who has an occasional bad day. They may have lost an important business deal or had a misunderstanding with their colleagues, whatever it is, there was a reason for their foul mood. Of course, there’s also the kind that goes through the emotional rollercoaster regularly. The latter is the kind of person who just brings you down with them because they like to always look at the glass as half-empty. People like this are usually extremely sensitive, and any little thing gets them on a roll towards self destruction. Should you be faced with that kind of person, you should never feed their fire. Step back and avoid circumstances that can tick them off.

2. Learn how to read people. While some may readily share their emotions, there are others who are prone to withdrawing and displacing their inner feelings by having inappropriate reactions to small incidents. People like these will rant and rave about the most trivial of matters when what they are trying to do is mask their vulnerability. The best way to deal with people who do this is to find out the underlying causes of their anger. Ask them how they are and offer to listen to them when they are calm enough to talk. Never force them to open up and talk about it, otherwise they’ll retreat further into their shell. If they really refuse to talk, simply take a step back and let them know that they can approach you when they are ready. When we have problems, we always need to talk about the issues when the time is right. The same goes for people who withdraw. If you complain about them a lot, then chances are, they will never look to you for comfort. Give them time to cool off, and while they do, never talk about them to the others who are not concerned.

3. Put things in perspective. It's important to know that you are always not responsible for someone else’s mood. The important thing here is to become the objective person. Take a step back and observe the things that trigger their anger. When they are grouchy towards you even when you haven’t done anything, you also need to stand your ground and let them know that you will not tolerate this kind of treatment.

Deciding when enough is enough is entirely up to you. When you deal with a moody person, you have to be brave enough to also say stop. At the same time, you have to know that you need not sink to their level. If they cuss a lot and slam things when they are upset, why should you do the same? At least you know that people will prefer your company over theirs because you are the type of person who is easy to get along with.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Rely on Your Inner Strength For Stress Reduction

We all have to deal with stress. As you work your way towards success, there will always be hindrances. When problems arise, retreating is not always the answer. Giving up is the coward’s way out, and people ruled with fear will never achieve anything or amount to much. Stress is a part of life, and when you allow things to get out of control, you only make the situation worse. When you leave things be and focus your attention elsewhere, you are allowing the situation to win. Your life will be about avoiding issues, and nothing will ever get better. You have to sooner or later deal with it, and when you put off your responsibilities, you may one day find yourself overburdened with problems that are too tough to handle.

Do you want to spend half your life running away from things you fear? If you do this, then you are not living your life to the fullest. You are merely surviving. You will deny yourself from the true pleasures of life simply because you are trying to avoid trials. You won’t go anywhere and instead stagnate. Then you see the people around you living their dreams, while you are still at the bottom of the ladder. When you experience difficult days, you turn your back away and see that the problems have never actually disappeared. In fact, you merely threw a cloak over it and hid it for awhile. But things will always have a way of coming out, and when this happens, you will no longer have a chance to run away from it. You may then try to deal with it, but has already blown way out of proportion that there is no way of getting around it.

You now really need to find an immediate solution to controlling the situation and improving your circumstances. Do it now before it controls you. Although many of you regard stress as the enemy, there are ways to making it your friend. Quiet time is, without exception, the best way to clear up your head. You also have to trust in your abilities. When you find yourself in a predicament, you have to see it as a chance to strategize and prove to yourself and the people around you that you are more than capable of many things. Your experiences also play a big part in how you believe in your talents and capabilities.

We all have this inner critic that never changes. This stops us from seeing our true strengths and abilities. The key to moving forward and overcoming insecurities is to bring awareness to what you want and what you have achieved at present. Reclaim your self esteem and courage. Harness enough energy so that you can live through day to day experiences with a new zest for life. There is nothing you can’t achieve if you simply put your mind to it. You simply have to get up every time you fall. You may find yourself bruised and battered, but if you strive forth, you’ll be able to conquer any trial and win over it with a mind filled with wisdom.

One of life’s goals is to teach you a lesson, let you learn as you go through each and every experience. Gain more knowledge from it and apply what you’ve learned. Practice makes perfect, and if you keep at it, you’ll see that it gets easier along the way.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Changing Rules - Make New Rules Work for You

With today’s ever-changing trends, doing what’s conventional no longer works. You are no longer faced with the same kind of situations. The main cause for this change is the development of new technology that leads to a faster paced lifestyle. The person of the 21st century knows that there are new rules to follow. If you refuse to adjust to these changes, then you may as well get used to swallowing the dust of other people that pass you up and leave you behind with the stragglers.

Whereas family used to be the most important thing in a person’s life, today’s world demands that you prioritize other things as well. Yes, your family may be important, but so is your job. Moreover, not everyone is lucky enough to be surrounded with a nurturing and loving clan. If you feel alone, you should go out of your way and establish your own surrogate family. This different and new version of a unit is comprised of friends that love each other unconditionally. It is now common for people to have acrimonious relationships with their parents and siblings. As sad as this may sound, some of them have actually been able to establish family-like bonds with the people around them. Instead of sulking, you have to embrace what you have and see things as a gift. This is a classic case of ‘when life gives you lemons you make lemonade.’

Gone too are the days when mixing business with pleasure was a taboo. Companies have realized that great personal relationships within the office can increase work satisfaction amongst the employees. When you get to know your colleagues you also get to learn their strengths and weaknesses. It is much easier to work in unity when you know the people around you. Make your coworkers your friends and see how smoothly things start running. It is also a great way to earn the respect of people that matter.

Another big difference between life now and life before is the fact that more and more people have learned the value of enjoying their youth. When women in their thirties and forties weren’t married then, they were considered spinsters. That is far from being true nowadays. In fact, many claim that 40 is the new 30. What this means is that people are now allowed to fully enjoy their lives before they even think about settling down and starting a family. The world just offers so many opportunities, and by settling down early, you can somewhat feel that you are missing out on life. Travel while you can, live while you can. There are opportunities available everywhere, and it is your right to open the door every time you are given the chance to make something for yourself.

When you feel that you haven’t achieved much, don’t pressure yourself too much. You shouldn’t be in a hurry to grow up. What matters most is that you savor every experience and learn from it. The idea of maturity has changed significantly. You no longer have to be at the top of the corporate ladder and an owner of a new luxurious home. A mature person is now someone who is able to adjust to the changes and is willing to make life work for him or her. The rules have changed, and so should you!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Gaining Self-Confidence

Some believe that in order to get everything that you desire most in life, you need money.

Though a lot of things in this world can be acquired with the help of some cash, there are other ways for you to achieve your dreams. Money is not the means to an end, it is merely a reward when you have self-confidence. If you have all the material possessions but don’t believe in your abilities, these things will be useless and worthless. Self confidence comes from knowing that you have the skills needed to achieve any goal you want. Even the most capable mind won’t amount to much without the self-confidence. It forms a base on which every structure rests, it is what keeps the things around you upright, and more importantly, it is what gives you the energy to move forward and pursue your dreams.

The good thing about self confidence is that it can get passed to the people you’ll encounter. A person who knows that he can do anything that he wants gets the respect of everyone around. He will also be the inspiration for others to follow in his footsteps because it seems as if the universe itself decided to shine on that man’s fate. In today's competitive world, self confidence is a basis of survival. In turn, that man draws more energy from his surroundings. This energy makes you a better person. This is an upward spiral that only gets better by the moment!

One can never predict what happens in their future, and in order to overcome unexpected hurdles, you need to develop confidence in yourself. You should always see life as a chance to know what you need to work on so that you can become a better person. This takes a lot of practice. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day. To become a more confident person, you need to keep practicing the following:

1. Stop worrying about the opinions of other people. Never allow others to make you feel like the lesser person. The opinion you should value the most is your own. Just keep your eye on your destination and hold your head up high as you see yourself slowly climbing up the ladder of success.

2. Learn from your mistakes and use life’s lessons as your weapon. You need to take responsibility for the choices that you’ve made and never fail to strategize based on your experience.

3. Have faith. This keeps you determined to keep on and put all your energy into achieving what you want most from life simply because you know that it will happen if you just never give up.

We all have our own strengths and weaknesses. We can all excel by sticking to our principles. We also have to know that we can’t always win in every game we play, but this shouldn’t stop us from our mission. The secret to success is to be brave enough to face the unknown. Trust in yourself and know that with self-confidence, you can overcome problems and go further than you’ve ever expected.

Monday, June 15, 2009

The Art Of Argument: How to Win Arguments

The art of argument: How to Win Arguments

Arguments will always be a part of human relationships. The difference in upbringing and beliefs make each person unique. Often times, people view a disagreement in a negative light. While getting into a squabble with another person can be stressful, it has its upside as well. When you argue, you open doors to change. As with any other person, we all need to adjust and learn the value of meeting half way.

People argue differently. Some shout while others sulk in the corner. The key to winning a fight is to identify the person’s tactical maneuvers. You need to learn the art of disarming your opponents with ploys of your own.

Some people like to shout when they bicker. These people get upset even with the most trifle issues. Their screams set alarms off and their offenses ring forever in your ears. People who shout lack control of their emotions. By telling them to put a lid on it will only make matters worse. It’s always about power and aggression. In cases like these, you should not fight fire with fire. They will only shut you out and refuse to listen to what you have to say. What you can do is back off and give that other person a chance to cool down. Then, you need to approach them calmly and tactfully. Make them aware of their unhealthy way of venting out emotions and tell them that you won’t engage when they are in that mode. If their outburst persists, leave. People like them have anger management issues that can only be resolved with the help of an expert.

If, on the other hand, they like to remain quiet and stoic when they are upset, you have to stop the confrontation. The more you force it out of them, the more difficult they become. They will often leave you frustrated and helpless because they won’t respond to self-defense. This may be their defense mechanism at work, and this may be their way of feeling safe during times of stress. Try writing what you feel because while they can tune you out, they won’t be able to tune out the written argument. If they are your friend, they will read your letter. Never suppress important issues. What you need to do is broach the subject calmly. Try to lighten their mood and brighten their spirits by being humble and objective.

There are also people that simply like to sulk when they get upset. They slam doors and mutter a lot, and when you do ask them what is wrong, they keep their answers abrupt and vague. While shouters are difficult to deal with, these people can be just as destructive. The secret is to deal with them on neutral ground. Give them time and find ways to come to an agreement.

Whatever type of argument you find yourself in, it always helps to be the bigger person. Never blow your fuse and try to be rational about the situation. People are likely to respect those who see things as they are. Never sugarcoat your opinions, but you also have to be diplomatic about it. After all, the best way to earn their respect is to show them that you value their thoughts and emotions as well.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Overcoming the Fear Failure

How To Overcome Fear of Failure?

Wouldn’t it be great if we were all mentally tough and that we could take whatever life throws our way? Fear of the unknown is what usually holds us back from doing anything remotely interesting and different. Usually though, this only takes the backseat to an even bigger fear, and that is fear of failure! Sure we want to discover something so innovative that we leave people in awe, but we also continually ask ourselves ‘what if,’ and that stops us immediately in our tracks.

Life is a game wherein we all take a gamble every so often, but what sets us apart from the winners is our attitude when we get into the game. We simply become too afraid and will settle for mediocrity simply because we do not want to be humiliated. We accept defeat and convince ourselves that the skill is just not in us. We should keep in mind that while negative thoughts create gloom, the energy radiated by having a positive attitude is reflected in our actions.

The same goes to our professional lives. Some of us go to work, do our job, and basically do everything as a routine of habit. We are far from being satisfied with our careers but we carry on nonetheless. Why? Because that’s what we do and are familiar with. We have other dreams but keep them on the back burner because we don’t know if we have the right abilities and talents. If we do decide to pursue our dreams and do what we are most passionate about, we fear that we aren’t good enough and that we might humiliate ourselves in the end. Our life can become a sham with this attitude, and we definitely have to pursue our innermost desires to have a chance at happiness.

Overcoming the Fear Failure

If you have a fear of failure, know that this is not unique to only you. Many other people dread the thought of losing. However, it is important to note that this fear can do more than keep us from being successful. It holds us back from living the kind of life we deserve. Often times, this form of terror develops over a period of time, often triggered by memories of sadness. Because we did fail in the past, we know how it felt when people laughed at us when we fell and couldn’t get up.

The truth is, we are good enough. We may not be talented in some areas, but surely there is something we are excellent at. We need to improve our self esteem and realize that life is all about experimenting. If we fail, then maybe we should look at the process and see what went wrong. Every good scientist knows that they have to come up with a good hypothesis before they test it.

We all have to be that scientist who willingly tries out every theory. The road to success is ridden with bumps, and it is only in trying will we realize which ones should be avoided. If there’s one thing I can assure you, it is the fact that people who keep trying despite their hundreds of failures will triumph a lot sooner than those who don’t give any effort at all.

So, how exactly can we all overcome fear? Just take baby steps but be brave enough to give everything a shot. Those who cop out will be those who will live their lives with great regret.

Here's another great post about The Power of Failure

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

How to Play It Smart During Tough Times

It’s easy to feel like you’re hanging by your fingernails during turbulent and tough times. As the economy goes from bad to worse, your ideal future looks bleaker by the day. That’s why, you need to find ways wherein you can budget your earnings and save more despite the rising prices. In fact, you need to know now more than ever where your money goes. What you need is a plan to protect your money, health, and well-being.

If you are worried about where the economy’s headed, then count yourself as one of the lucky few. People who live their lives free of worries may one day find themselves knee-deep in debts and problems. Know what your expenses are. If you need to write them down, then do so. Make sure that you can account for every single cent. A list gives you a view of the entire picture. It’ll also give you an idea where your dollar goes. By tracking your daily costs in a diary, you will be able to see where you can cut back. You don’t have to buy something every time you feel stress. In fact, showing some willpower will give you a sense of control. If you are a member of a club or the gym, check out the deals they have for their cash-strapped clients. Get a discount when you can, and avoid unnecessary spending.

Nowadays, you also need to know that you can always have a job to fall back on. Especially with the recent economic difficulties, companies are now trying to downsize their manpower. Work hard and make the upper management know that you are an integral and indispensible part of the company. For starters, try to hand in your projects before the deadline. Make sure that you are getting the attention that you deserve. You can be the most industrious employee, but if your boss doesn’t know it, then you have nothing to gain from all your efforts. This, of course, does not mean that you become one of those people who like to brag a lot. You just have to document everything that you’ve done and regularly update your supervisor just so they’ll know where you are with work.

Just remember that in times of stress, you must never take your health for granted. Make sure that you have a way to release tension. Exercise is said to be the most helpful solution. When you work out, your body releases hormones that help you become more relaxed. Spend some time in the gym, or go for a walk. Whatever it is, just make sure that you sweat it out. Many people have sworn to the effectiveness of a workout. Just make sure that you have an outlet your anxiety. Keeping your issues bottled up can be very harmful to the various aspects of your life.

Lastly, enjoy the company of friends. It helps to know that you have a great support system by your side during your most difficult days. Even casually discussing your dreams to your friends and loved ones can be motivation enough for you to go into a quest to achieve them. The world can either be your ally or your enemy during these tough times. Make things work for you and ensure that you make plans for your future.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Being a Great Team Player

Some people make great leaders, and while they can manage the team seamlessly, some have a hard time bequeathing this role to someone else. Could that person be you? Do you play well with others or would you rather do things alone if you can’t lead? Being a team player requires a very different mentality, a dissimilar state of mind.

Good social skills are a plus in a leader, but not a necessity. People have to follow you because you are considered an authority in your field. Though you may not be well-liked by the people on your team, they still have to follow you out of duty or respect. But to be a great team player is altogether another issue. You need to work well with the others on your team and complement your skill with theirs. It’s all about getting along professionally and personally. You have to be able to manage your emotions and then be able to communicate to your fellow team members effectively. Adapt and have an intuitive sense of others in order to become understanding of everyone around you. You will to learn to take into account everyone’s viewpoints in order to make the good of the collective stronger and more effective.

The skill set for the Captain is pivotal to the success of any team, but more than that are the individual attributes of the players who do all the manual labor, so to speak. The members of the team are usually the people known for coordination and hard work. In a way, there has to be a leader in every person. It has to be in them to go further than what they are required to do and make sure that the ones that surround them also get the credit for the effort they put in. There should be no thirst for power with any member and they must have the ability to pick up the slack that others leave behind.

Sometimes, your goals will differ from the goals of others. You must make sure to keep the team's goals on your priority list. You also should have the initiative to learn more about the dynamics of the team and what it takes to accomplish the desired end-state. Try to think about reaching that goal as the absolute destination, and not just a possibility.

Each player must recognize his or her individual strengths so that he knows what to provide the team with and which skills are most useful. You must establish your strength from the very beginning so that the leader is in a better position to put you in a task where you excel and are most comfortable in.

Lastly, be helpful. There may be occasions wherein a team member will become so engulfed in their own tasks that they fail to realize the others who are struggling. The ‘to each his own’ attitude simply doesn’t work here. After all, the team is only as strong as its weakest member. By being more aware of the things around you, you completely eliminate any kind of weakness and actually become a force to be reckoned with.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

The Need for Self Confidence

We all have hidden fears that we don’t always want to share with friends. These fears often leave us paralyzed. When the need to overcome these fears is required, we sometimes choose to take the easy way out: hide and run for cover.

In order to Succeed In Life, we first have to believe in ourselves. All this talk about finding ways to achieve success is pointless when we just don’t trust our own talents and abilities. Without self confidence, we won’t have the tools to face life's challenges with equanimity. The dilemma we sometimes face is not knowing how to gain self confidence when we don’t really have it in us. Do we really have to experience success first before we believe in ourselves? Maybe, but then again, many set themselves up to be discouraged before they’ve even tried anything.

To make your goals more attainable, you can make it more manageable by breaking down your larger goal into smaller ones. The chances for success here then increase. Then, make sure that you celebrate each small feat that you overcome.

Self image is another important factor. If you constantly criticize yourself, you will never feel adequate. Remember, negativity begets negativity. This low self image is sometimes the by-product of your life experiences as you face the devastating blows of your wrong choices. You need to realize that these mistakes will never hold you down as long as you don’t allow them to. You need to look at now, not yesterday! What have you learned from the blunder? Use this and let this serve as a guide as you continue on life’s path. And then there are people who also affect the way you look at yourself. The decision of whether or not spend some toxic time with these individuals is all up to you. Learn to put your foot down and seek out those who can be more helpful to your overall growth.

You need to see yourself as inherently worthy. Be aware of how unique you are and realize that you are more than capable of contributing to the good of the world. Pay attention to only those who want what’s best for you and turn a deaf ear to those who just want to see you go down. The ones that deserve your time are the ones who recognize your inner strength. Look at yourself in a more positive light and start to see what you are actually blessed with.

Your self image is intimately intertwined with your destiny. You have to guard you thoughts against feelings of inadequacy. The power of a positive vision should never be underestimated. This is what helped the most successful people on their way to the top.

Rule of thumb states that the clearer the goal is, the higher your self confidence gets. Even the most capable mind and body need a good dose of self confidence. Only with trusting yourself and knowing what you are capable of will you ever be able to attain success.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Dealing with People Who Bring Us Down

In life, we get to meet a number of people, but because it takes all kinds to make the world, there are just some that are too difficult to deal with. These are people we don’t like, and we try to avoid them at all costs. Staying out of the range of their radar may be the right solution, but there are also times where passing into that detection zone is unavoidable.

Friendly individuals emotionally lift up people and if there is conflict, it generally can easily be worked through. When dealing with the difficult ones, however, it is important to be able to distinguish between rights and responsibilities. Sometimes we feel obliged to adapt to them but we shouldn’t forgo our rights as human beings either.

There are also those that we have to deal with out of responsibility. The best thing that we can do here is to not reciprocate the difficulties that person is giving. Treating them with respect is important and we also must learn to listen to them as they air out their points of view. Doing this will help us better understand them. Plus, if we get to know them, we’ll be able to strategize more with what to do and how to respond.

Fact is, difficult people are usually those who have issues in their life. Disassociate the problem from the person and learn to see things objectively. After all, if this person is not overstepping the boundaries, they will also eventually see that we too deserve respect. Anyone with enough sense should know this.

We also have to stop seeing ourselves as victims of a situation. Blaming others for making us feel miserable can only further damage us. It gives others a chance to access our emotions. Take responsibility for how we feel, and work towards a solution before they attain a mental victory over us.

We just can't change other people. We can, however, influence ourselves to stop becoming affected. Nobody is worth this much energy and we don’t need to sweat over those who don’t deserve our respect. Deal with them like we should with work, and that is never to take it home with us.

So, in dealing with people who bring us down, we have to accept that we cannot change others, but can only change ourselves. This may mean that we change perception the way we deal with the situation.

It's always better to look into ourselves first and see if it's us that need to make changes. We, as individuals, also have our own pet peeves and issues.

If that other person really needs to change and is willing to make the adjustment, then we need to use constructive influence. There are tactful ways to send a message through without making someone feel worse. There are those who will influence our life very adversely. But we can be a positive influence in someone else's life by letting go of what we cannot control and doing our best to be helpful instead. Mahatma Gandhi once said that we must be the change we want to see in the world. Let us serve as inspiration to many and be the positive influence. When we do this, we will slowly see ourselves surrounded by only those we like and respect.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Attain Your Dream Career

When we graduate high school and start choosing the course we want to take, most of us opt for something that covers a wider range of job opportunities. At 18, we sometimes don’t have a clear picture of what we want to be in the future. Our future endeavors are not always known at such a tender age. There are those lucky few, however, that already have a clear path in their minds. If we were to inherit a large sum of money, then this is not so much of an issue. Sadly, though, most of us have to work for bread to be able to survive in today’s cut-throat world. Then, we graduate and realize that we should have taken a different path. As much as we would like to back to school and study, we have to choose work above everything else. So, what happens to us? Not to fret because there may be a way to solve this dilemma.

Personality tests are becoming increasingly popular among people entering the workforce. These tests were intended to reveal the taker’s most desired career path. On the surface, this may sound like a great idea. We sometimes have dreams that are not in line with who we are. We should also give ourselves a chance to test the unknown. After all, our capabilities can’t be boxed and we can’t fully define our path to success by simply knowing who we are. We may have hidden strengths that may only reveal themselves when the need arises. Introverts may do well in a career in sales, and how are we to know what we can do unless we dabble in it.

It may sometimes appear that we’ll lead happier lives if we stick to our strengths and what we’re most comfortable with. Part of us will always remain unsatisfied when we limit our horizons out of fear or conformity. We might find ourselves waking up one day with a deep feeling of regret, and this is what we want to avoid at all costs.

Growing up, we’re completely dependent on our parents to meet our survival needs. Over time, we learn to cope with the demands life gives us. Our survival skills can only get us so far in the adult world. In most cases, the need to simply endure and carry on eventually wears thin, revealing the hidden chasm of anxiety.

We should not avoid the career that we want based solely on the need to get through day by day. We first must overcome our fears. We need to delve into something that fits our desires to a T. Courage is what is needed here. If we can’t afford to give up the benefits of enjoying monetary stability, we must find the time to start small.

The World Wide Web offers so many opportunities to hone and develop our hidden strengths. As we gain the respect of the other people, we will find that job offers slowly start to trickle in. Take what we can and slowly start to let go of the other things that we don’t really enjoy. If we become vigilant about this, we will soon find ourselves doing what we exactly want.

And that, my friends, is the secret to getting our dream job!