Saturday, May 23, 2009

The Need for Self Confidence

We all have hidden fears that we don’t always want to share with friends. These fears often leave us paralyzed. When the need to overcome these fears is required, we sometimes choose to take the easy way out: hide and run for cover.

In order to Succeed In Life, we first have to believe in ourselves. All this talk about finding ways to achieve success is pointless when we just don’t trust our own talents and abilities. Without self confidence, we won’t have the tools to face life's challenges with equanimity. The dilemma we sometimes face is not knowing how to gain self confidence when we don’t really have it in us. Do we really have to experience success first before we believe in ourselves? Maybe, but then again, many set themselves up to be discouraged before they’ve even tried anything.

To make your goals more attainable, you can make it more manageable by breaking down your larger goal into smaller ones. The chances for success here then increase. Then, make sure that you celebrate each small feat that you overcome.

Self image is another important factor. If you constantly criticize yourself, you will never feel adequate. Remember, negativity begets negativity. This low self image is sometimes the by-product of your life experiences as you face the devastating blows of your wrong choices. You need to realize that these mistakes will never hold you down as long as you don’t allow them to. You need to look at now, not yesterday! What have you learned from the blunder? Use this and let this serve as a guide as you continue on life’s path. And then there are people who also affect the way you look at yourself. The decision of whether or not spend some toxic time with these individuals is all up to you. Learn to put your foot down and seek out those who can be more helpful to your overall growth.

You need to see yourself as inherently worthy. Be aware of how unique you are and realize that you are more than capable of contributing to the good of the world. Pay attention to only those who want what’s best for you and turn a deaf ear to those who just want to see you go down. The ones that deserve your time are the ones who recognize your inner strength. Look at yourself in a more positive light and start to see what you are actually blessed with.

Your self image is intimately intertwined with your destiny. You have to guard you thoughts against feelings of inadequacy. The power of a positive vision should never be underestimated. This is what helped the most successful people on their way to the top.

Rule of thumb states that the clearer the goal is, the higher your self confidence gets. Even the most capable mind and body need a good dose of self confidence. Only with trusting yourself and knowing what you are capable of will you ever be able to attain success.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Dealing with People Who Bring Us Down

In life, we get to meet a number of people, but because it takes all kinds to make the world, there are just some that are too difficult to deal with. These are people we don’t like, and we try to avoid them at all costs. Staying out of the range of their radar may be the right solution, but there are also times where passing into that detection zone is unavoidable.

Friendly individuals emotionally lift up people and if there is conflict, it generally can easily be worked through. When dealing with the difficult ones, however, it is important to be able to distinguish between rights and responsibilities. Sometimes we feel obliged to adapt to them but we shouldn’t forgo our rights as human beings either.

There are also those that we have to deal with out of responsibility. The best thing that we can do here is to not reciprocate the difficulties that person is giving. Treating them with respect is important and we also must learn to listen to them as they air out their points of view. Doing this will help us better understand them. Plus, if we get to know them, we’ll be able to strategize more with what to do and how to respond.

Fact is, difficult people are usually those who have issues in their life. Disassociate the problem from the person and learn to see things objectively. After all, if this person is not overstepping the boundaries, they will also eventually see that we too deserve respect. Anyone with enough sense should know this.

We also have to stop seeing ourselves as victims of a situation. Blaming others for making us feel miserable can only further damage us. It gives others a chance to access our emotions. Take responsibility for how we feel, and work towards a solution before they attain a mental victory over us.

We just can't change other people. We can, however, influence ourselves to stop becoming affected. Nobody is worth this much energy and we don’t need to sweat over those who don’t deserve our respect. Deal with them like we should with work, and that is never to take it home with us.

So, in dealing with people who bring us down, we have to accept that we cannot change others, but can only change ourselves. This may mean that we change perception the way we deal with the situation.

It's always better to look into ourselves first and see if it's us that need to make changes. We, as individuals, also have our own pet peeves and issues.

If that other person really needs to change and is willing to make the adjustment, then we need to use constructive influence. There are tactful ways to send a message through without making someone feel worse. There are those who will influence our life very adversely. But we can be a positive influence in someone else's life by letting go of what we cannot control and doing our best to be helpful instead. Mahatma Gandhi once said that we must be the change we want to see in the world. Let us serve as inspiration to many and be the positive influence. When we do this, we will slowly see ourselves surrounded by only those we like and respect.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Attain Your Dream Career

When we graduate high school and start choosing the course we want to take, most of us opt for something that covers a wider range of job opportunities. At 18, we sometimes don’t have a clear picture of what we want to be in the future. Our future endeavors are not always known at such a tender age. There are those lucky few, however, that already have a clear path in their minds. If we were to inherit a large sum of money, then this is not so much of an issue. Sadly, though, most of us have to work for bread to be able to survive in today’s cut-throat world. Then, we graduate and realize that we should have taken a different path. As much as we would like to back to school and study, we have to choose work above everything else. So, what happens to us? Not to fret because there may be a way to solve this dilemma.

Personality tests are becoming increasingly popular among people entering the workforce. These tests were intended to reveal the taker’s most desired career path. On the surface, this may sound like a great idea. We sometimes have dreams that are not in line with who we are. We should also give ourselves a chance to test the unknown. After all, our capabilities can’t be boxed and we can’t fully define our path to success by simply knowing who we are. We may have hidden strengths that may only reveal themselves when the need arises. Introverts may do well in a career in sales, and how are we to know what we can do unless we dabble in it.

It may sometimes appear that we’ll lead happier lives if we stick to our strengths and what we’re most comfortable with. Part of us will always remain unsatisfied when we limit our horizons out of fear or conformity. We might find ourselves waking up one day with a deep feeling of regret, and this is what we want to avoid at all costs.

Growing up, we’re completely dependent on our parents to meet our survival needs. Over time, we learn to cope with the demands life gives us. Our survival skills can only get us so far in the adult world. In most cases, the need to simply endure and carry on eventually wears thin, revealing the hidden chasm of anxiety.

We should not avoid the career that we want based solely on the need to get through day by day. We first must overcome our fears. We need to delve into something that fits our desires to a T. Courage is what is needed here. If we can’t afford to give up the benefits of enjoying monetary stability, we must find the time to start small.

The World Wide Web offers so many opportunities to hone and develop our hidden strengths. As we gain the respect of the other people, we will find that job offers slowly start to trickle in. Take what we can and slowly start to let go of the other things that we don’t really enjoy. If we become vigilant about this, we will soon find ourselves doing what we exactly want.

And that, my friends, is the secret to getting our dream job!